Heaven...

This afternoon, I spent another hour in ADMU reading a book. I like going to school during Sundays...there's something different about it. It's something I can't really explain, but you just have to experience it to believe.

The whole emptiness of school during a Sunday, with the wind blowing and the trees swaying...seeing faces, you never really see when there are classes...the leaves all on the ground due to the winds and rains that have been happening a lot the past weeks. The whole solitude offered by the experience is...something unique I guess.

Anyway...I'm surprised how so much can happen in so little time. It was 5:50pm and I was ready to leave, but not after my last cig on campus. When I got to the smoking area, a girl was sitting there all alone. I dumped my book on the bench and had a cigarette ready and waiting in my mouth. I was fumbling around my pockets for my lighter. I shot a glance at the girl sitting across me...and she smiled. With the cig in my mouth, and my hands in my pockets...I tried as hard as I could to smile without letting my cig fall on the ground. She apparently found my struggle to be quite amusing since she laughed (though only a little bit). I lit my cigarette and sat down. She asked my name, and I replied…and she was surprised cause that was her nickname at home too...but she gave me the name her friends called her. She was an incoming senior coz she took an LOA for a semester last year...she was supposed to have graduated already but because of the Leave of Absence, she had to be held back a year. She asked me what book I was reading, and I gave her a rather...lengthy and non-entertaining synopsis. She seemed interested (I think...or she was giving me a hint of sorts...I dunno...) Then after, she asked me to read something that she wrote for a fiction writing class. It was entitled "Heaven" (yup...here's where I got the title for this post from). It was about this girl, who dies and meets God...or the voice of God at least...and the girl couldn't accept that she was dead and she was cursing at God coz of all the rotten things that happened to her life...but in the end, God reassured her that He/She did indeed love her...and the girl woke up.

Pretty good story actually...now that I think about it. She asked me what I thought, and I had to agree with the red marks all over the paper..."Too confrontational" well that was the only one I was able to read. I told her that...I didn't think that the whole screaming at God thing...was true...coz I always thought, when you meet God, you'd be speechless with awe while basking in all of His/Her glory. She said "true"...and I told her that to be honest, I didn't read "bestsellers" and stuff...that I read classic lit; gothic lit to be precise. I cracked a few jokes, but when 6pm came...I had to go home. I bid her farewell, and went on my way.

For those who know me...yes, I psycho-analyzed her. But no, I didn't do it on the way home...I did it while reading her story! A-HA! Elementary my dear Dr. Watson...The whole story was as I told her..."angsty" there was a lot of displaced emotion that was put into the text. She was probably the type of girl that showed that she was getting frustrated...she's rather transparent...you can see what she's feeling...she shows it...anytime, anywhere. She's outspoken and outgoing. She's a strong woman, willing to make the first move if she feels like it. She probably has a strong figure to look up to, whether her mom or dad, that I'm not sure of. I think she has had a lot of bad experiences when it comes to guys given by some things that I saw within the text. She probably has an external locus of control, not really accepting things to be of her own fault, but rather blaming them on outside circumstances. She's probably the type of girl who takes thing's seriously...sees things in black and white...I dunno. These are all first impressions given by her when I met her and from the text that she had written.

Funny how all of this happened in a span of 10 mins. Within those 10 minutes, I had a rough picture of what she was like...besides the whole first impressions thing. Funny how something that started with a smile, ended up with something like this. Funny how I can't really help myself but psycho-analyze someone I've met for the first time (well...if I’m sober, or...just up to it). Funny how, two complete strangers, finding themselves in the same situation, sitting in the smoking area in school, on a gloomy Sunday afternoon...can tear away the shyness and the awkwardness and just plain talk. Funny how, even though I may be attracted to her both for her personality, her looks, and more...that I may never see her again. Funny how if ever I do see her again, and she sees me...she may not even recognize me, or I her. Funny how the moments that we are given, every minute, every second something can happen, that may never repeat itself in the future. Funny how life plays with us...trying to see what we'd do, how we'd act given different situations.

Funny, isn't it?