Who am I?

This is a question that I have been asking myself for the longest time. And for the longest time, I was not able to answer this question. However, after much reflection, questioning, and a lot metaphysical unease, and using of intermediary way of thinking, I was able to probably define who I am as a person.

The journey in which I was able to answer who I am was a long and tiresome journey. But the first step in this journey was undoubtedly the hardest step to make. According to Socrates, the key to wisdom is to acknowledge that you do not know. And I finally let go of all the facades, all the “masks” so to speak and accepted that I did not know who I was. Again, according to Socrates, an unexamined life is a life not worth living. And with this, I had to examine who I was.

I am my body. But when I say this, it brings 3 different paradoxes. When I say that I am my body, I am not merely a lump of flesh walking around, I am conscious, I am aware of my being. I have subjectivity. So, to be able to fix this paradox, I can say that I have my body. However, when I say this, it signifies that my body is a possession, which is not entirely true. I cannot go and leave my body at home; I am bonded with my body. Because of this, the correct term is that I am an embodied subjectivity, an embodied cogito.

With the statement that I am an embodied subjectivity, it brings to mind my being historical. I am a historical being. Man is the only being in which history is written because he is the only one that makes history. And I have a history-making existence. And this historicity is an essential component of my life.

Historicity has 3 components. The first component is that I am, like what I had said earlier…and embodied subjectivity/cogito. I experience the world through my body, and I am also conscious of my being. I am aware. I use my body as an intermediary in my experience of the world. When I say intermediary, I mean as both as a bridge and as a barrier. When I say bridge, I mean that I experience things through my body. I use my body to feel the warmth of the sun, to smell roses, feel the softness of another person’s skin etc. however, it is also a barrier. When I say barrier, I mean that my experience is only limited to my bodily reach. I cannot experience what the Egyptian sun feels like on my back, unless I go there for myself. I cannot experience a lot of things, by just sitting here on my bed.

The second component is that I am a being-together with others. Man is intersubjective. I live together with other people. I am not an individual, I live within a society; a society where we all give and receive; a mutual relationship where we all in one way or another help each other out. This brings to mind the other. I need an other…someone to take into account my existence…take into account my whole being so that I know that I do exist. I use the other as a mirror. A mirror for me to be able to see who I am and who I am not…

And the last component of historicity is that I am a being in time. I have an experience of time. I have an understanding of the past, the present and the future. I know that the fleeting now…will soon be the past, and I know the fear of what the future may bring.

And since my being here is a representation of who I am and what I do is a representation of my being here. And because of what I do, there is meaning to my being present here. My work reflects who I am. My being here is reflected by my work. My work gives a brief reflection on who I am, by showing my work ethics, my work output and such.

And lastly…I am a being-unto-death. Death is the only thing certain in my existence. Being a historical being, a being in time, I know that my death is certain. Death is inevitable. It is the only thing certain that we know of. Everyday that we know that we are dying gives more meaning to our life and the moments that we experience. Man reaches his wholeness in death. I loose my potentiality for being. I lose my “there”. I am no longer a “being there” because I no longer exist. And with death, I can come to grips with my wholeness in advance and thereby live an authentic existence.

This is who I am…